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We find ourselves at an interesting juncture regarding the occupation — the Dubby knows the Dems want out and they’re not going to give up on the legislative attempts to cut him off at the knee’s. He’s invited the high-ranking Blue’s to the White House to “discuss, not negotiate” — they’ve turned their noses up, calling that a waste of time. Meanwhile, the Pentagon has decided to extend the tour of every serviceperson in Iraq and Afghanistan [145,000 in all] from a year to fifteen months. The early estimates on Bush’s “surge” have been exceeded, and we’re coming up on 30,000 “fresh” soldiers in Iraq, not counting the 13,000 soon-to-be snatched home guard I mentioned yesterday. There is no end to the black hole of sacrifice Bush intends to drop us into.

Without too much exaggeration [and do take note of the newly issued Gonzales subpoena’s,] the only thing Dub has firmly in his control at the moment is his status as Commander in Chief — and now we learn that he’s been taking applications for a War Czar to keep tabs on all the fronts … just can’t find any takers [if a few more NeoCon’s were actually warriors, this wouldn’t be a problem; the only guns they’ve ever cleaned were used to shoot birds, rats and old friends.]

Early on in his first presidential campaign, I became aware that Bush would govern by delegation in CEO fashion … but when the last thing he has to do needs to be sloughed off to somebody else, you’ve got to wonder what the hell he IS good for. [Rhetorical, don’t answer that … he’s breaking a paradigm and teaching us the error of ego, power manipulation and greed.]

Ironic, isn’t it? The Bushies are in a mood to hire — and the public is in a mood to fire.

Here’s articles on his Czar search and the Four-Stars that respectfully declined — Robert Fisk tells us about the “new” strategy — Juan Cole shares a plan for escape — last piece tells us why the Dubby might think he needs a Czar for his ambitious multi-fronted NeoCon dreamscape. Big reads, good ones.

Jude

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Peter Baker and Thomas E. Ricks, WaPo;Front Page
Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The White House wants to appoint a high-powered czar to oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with authority to issue directions to the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies, but it has had trouble finding anyone able and willing to take the job, according to people close to the situation.

At least three retired four-star generals approached by the White House in recent weeks have declined to be considered for the position, the sources said, underscoring the administration’s difficulty in enlisting its top recruits to join the team after five years of warfare that have taxed the United States and its military.

“The very fundamental issue is, they don’t know where the hell they’re going,” said retired Marine Gen. John J. “Jack” Sheehan, a former top NATO commander who was among those rejecting the job. Sheehan said he believes that Vice President Cheney and his hawkish allies remain more powerful within the administration than pragmatists looking for a way out of Iraq. “So rather than go over there, develop an ulcer and eventually leave, I said, ‘No, thanks,’ ” he said.

The White House has not publicly disclosed its interest in creating the position, hoping to find someone President Bush can anoint and announce for the post all at once. Officials said they are still considering options for how to reorganize the White House’s management of the two conflicts. If they cannot find a person suited for the sort of specially empowered office they envision, they said, they may have to retain the current structure.

The administration’s interest in the idea stems from long-standing concern over the coordination of civilian and military efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan by different parts of the U.S. government. The Defense and State departments have long struggled over their roles and responsibilities in Iraq, with the White House often forced to referee.

The highest-ranking White House official responsible exclusively for the wars is deputy national security adviser Meghan O’Sullivan, who reports to national security adviser Stephen J. Hadley and does not have power to issue orders to agencies. O’Sullivan plans to step down soon, giving the White House the opportunity to rethink how it organizes the war effort.

Unlike O’Sullivan, the new czar would report directly to Bush and to Hadley and would have the title of assistant to the president, just as Hadley and the other highest-ranking White House officials have, the sources said. The new czar would also have “tasking authority,” or the power to issue directions, over other agencies, they said.

To fill such a role, the White House is searching for someone with enough stature and confidence to deal directly with heavyweight administration figures such as Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates. Besides Sheehan, sources said, the White House or intermediaries have sounded out retired Army Gen. Jack Keane and retired Air Force Gen. Joseph W. Ralston, who also said they are not interested. Ralston declined to comment; Keane confirmed he declined the offer, adding: “It was discussed weeks ago.”

Kurt Campbell, a Clinton administration Pentagon official who heads the Center for a New American Security, said the difficulty in finding someone to take the job shows that Bush has exhausted his ability to sign up top people to help salvage a disastrous war. “Who’s sitting on the bench?” he asked. “Who is there to turn to? And who would want to take the job?”

All three generals who declined the job have been to varying degrees administration insiders. Keane, a former Army vice chief of staff, was one of the primary proponents of sending more troops to Iraq and presented Bush with his plan for a major force increase during an Oval Office meeting in December. The president adopted the concept in January, although he did not dispatch as many troops as Keane proposed.

Ralston, a former vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, was named by Rice last August to serve as her special envoy for countering the Kurdistan Workers’ Party, or PKK, a group designated a terrorist organization by the United States.

Sheehan, a 35-year Marine, served on the Defense Policy Board advising the Pentagon early in the Bush administration and at one point was reportedly considered by then-Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld to be chairman of the Joint Chiefs. He now works as an executive at Bechtel Corp. developing oil projects in the Middle East.

In an interview yesterday, Sheehan said that Hadley contacted him and they discussed the job for two weeks but that he was dubious from the start. “I’ve never agreed on the basis of the war, and I’m still skeptical,” Sheehan said. “Not only did we not plan properly for the war, we grossly underestimated the effect of sanctions and Saddam Hussein on the Iraqi people.”

In the course of the discussions, Sheehan said, he called around to get a better feel for the administration landscape.

“There’s the residue of the Cheney view — ‘We’re going to win, al-Qaeda’s there’ — that justifies anything we did,” he said. “And then there’s the pragmatist view — how the hell do we get out of Dodge and survive? Unfortunately, the people with the former view are still in the positions of most influence.” Sheehan said he wrote a note March 27 declining interest.

Gordon Johndroe, a National Security Council spokesman, would not discuss contacts with candidates but confirmed that officials are considering a newly empowered czar.

“The White House is looking at a number of options on how to structure the Iraq and Afghanistan office in light of Meghan O’Sullivan’s departure and the completion of both the Iraq and Afghanistan strategic reviews,” he said. He added that “No decisions have been made” and “a list of candidates has not been narrowed down.”

The idea of someone overseeing the wars has been promoted to the White House by several outside advisers. “It would be definitely a good idea,” said Frederick W. Kagan, a scholar at the American Enterprise Institute. “Hope they do it, and hope they do it soon. And I hope they pick the right guy. It’s a real problem that we don’t have a single individual back here who is really capable of coordinating the effort.”

Other variations are under consideration. House Democrats have put a provision in their version of a war spending bill that would designate a coordinator to oversee all assistance to Iraq. That person, who would report directly to the president, would require Senate confirmation; the White House said it opposes the proposal because Rice already has an aid coordinator.

Some administration critics said the ideas miss the point. “An individual can’t fix a failed policy,” said Carlos Pascual, former State Department coordinator of Iraq reconstruction, who is now a vice president at the Brookings Institution. “So the key thing is to figure out where the policy is wrong.” ++

Divide and rule - America’s plan for Baghdad
Revealed: a new counter-insurgency strategy to carve up the city into sealed areas. The tactic failed in Vietnam. So what chance does it have in Iraq?

Robert Fisk, Independent UK
11 April 2007

Faced with an ever-more ruthless insurgency in Baghdad - despite President George Bush’s “surge” in troops - US forces in the city are now planning a massive and highly controversial counter-insurgency operation that will seal off vast areas of the city, enclosing whole neighbourhoods with barricades and allowing only Iraqis with newly issued ID cards to enter.

The campaign of “gated communities” - whose genesis was in the Vietnam War - will involve up to 30 of the city’s 89 official districts and will be the most ambitious counter-insurgency programme yet mounted by the US in Iraq.

The system has been used - and has spectacularly failed - in the past, and its inauguration in Iraq is as much a sign of American desperation at the country’s continued descent into civil conflict as it is of US determination to “win” the war against an Iraqi insurgency that has cost the lives of more than 3,200 American troops. The system of “gating” areas under foreign occupation failed during the French war against FLN insurgents in Algeria and again during the American war in Vietnam. Israel has employed similar practices during its occupation of Palestinian territory - again, with little success.

But the campaign has far wider military ambitions than the pacification of Baghdad. It now appears that the US military intends to place as many as five mechanised brigades - comprising about 40,000 men - south and east of Baghdad, at least three of them positioned between the capital and the Iranian border. This would present Iran with a powerful - and potentially aggressive - American military force close to its border in the event of a US or Israeli military strike against its nuclear facilities later this year.

The latest “security” plan, of which The Independent has learnt the details, was concocted by General David Petraeus, the current US commander in Baghdad, during a six-month command and staff course at Fort Leavenworth in Kansas. Those attending the course - American army generals serving in Iraq and top officers from the US Marine Corps, along with, according to some reports, at least four senior Israeli officers - participated in a series of debates to determine how best to “turn round” the disastrous war in Iraq.

The initial emphasis of the new American plan will be placed on securing Baghdad market places and predominantly Shia Muslim areas. Arrests of men of military age will be substantial. The ID card project is based upon a system adopted in the city of Tal Afar by General Petraeus’s men - and specifically by Colonel H R McMaster, of the 3rd Armoured Cavalry Regiment - in early 2005, when an eight-foot “berm” was built around the town to prevent the movement of gunmen and weapons. General Petraeus regarded the campaign as a success although Tal Afar, close to the Syrian border, has since fallen back into insurgent control.

So far, the Baghdad campaign has involved only the creation of a few US positions within several civilian areas of the city but the new project will involve joint American and Iraqi “support bases” in nine of the 30 districts to be “gated” off. From these bases - in fortified buildings - US-Iraqi forces will supposedly clear militias from civilian streets which will then be walled off and the occupants issued with ID cards. Only the occupants will be allowed into these “gated communities” and there will be continuous patrolling by US-Iraqi forces. There are likely to be pass systems, “visitor” registration and restrictions on movement outside the “gated communities”. Civilians may find themselves inside a “controlled population” prison.

In theory, US forces can then concentrate on providing physical reconstruction in what the military like to call a “secure environment”. But insurgents are not foreigners, despite the presence of al-Qa’ida in Iraq. They come from the same population centres that will be “gated” and will, if undiscovered, hold ID cards themselves; they will be “enclosed” with everyone else.

A former US officer in Vietnam who has a deep knowledge of General Petraeus’s plans is sceptical of the possible results. “The first loyalty of any Sunni who is in the Iraqi army is to the insurgency,” he said. “Any Shia’s first loyalty is to the head of his political party and its militia. Any Kurd in the Iraqi army, his first loyalty is to either Barzani or Talabani. There is no independent Iraqi army. These people really have no choice. They are trying to save their families from starvation and reprisal. At one time they may have believed in a unified Iraq. At one time they may have been secular. But the violence and brutality that started with the American invasion has burnt those liberal ideas out of people … Every American who is embedded in an Iraqi unit is in constant mortal danger.”

The senior generals who constructed the new “security” plan for Baghdad were largely responsible for the seminal - but officially “restricted” - field manual on counter-insurgency produced by the Department of the Army in December of last year, code-numbered FM 3-24. While not specifically advocating the “gated communities” campaign, one of its principles is the unification of civilian and military activities, citing “civil operations and revolutionary development support teams” in South Vietnam, assistance to Kurdish refugees in northern Iraq in 1991 and the “provincial reconstruction teams” in Afghanistan - a project widely condemned for linking military co-operation and humanitarian aid.

FM 3-24 is harsh in its analysis of what counter-insurgency forces must do to eliminate violence in Iraq. “With good intelligence,” it says, “counter-insurgents are like surgeons cutting out cancerous tissue while keeping other vital organs intact.” But another former senior US officer has produced his own pessimistic conclusions about the “gated” neighbourhood project.

“Once the additional troops are in place the insurrectionists will cut the lines of communication from Kuwait to the greatest extent they are able,” he told The Independent. “They will do the same inside Baghdad, forcing more use of helicopters. The helicopters will be vulnerable coming into the patrol bases, and the enemy will destroy as many as they can. The second part of their plan will be to attempt to destroy one of the patrol bases. They will begin that process by utilising their people inside the ‘gated communities’ to help them enter. They will choose bases where the Iraqi troops either will not fight or will actually support them.

“The American reaction will be to use massive firepower, which will destroy the neighbourhood that is being ‘protected’.”

The ex-officer’s fears for American helicopter crews were re-emphasised yesterday when a military Apache was shot down over central Baghdad.

The American’s son is an officer currently serving in Baghdad. “The only chance the American military has to withdraw with any kind of tactical authority in the future is to take substantial casualties as a token of their respect for the situation created by the invasion,” he said.

“The effort to create some order out of the chaos and the willingness to take casualties to do so will leave some residual respect for the Americans as they leave.”

FM 3-24: America’s new masterplan for Iraq

FM 3-24 comprises 220 pages of counter-insurgency planning, combat training techniques and historical analysis. The document was drawn up by Lt-Gen David Petraeus, the US commander in Baghdad, and Lt-Gen James Amos of the US Marine Corps, and was the nucleus for the new US campaign against the Iraqi insurgency. These are some of its recommendations and conclusions:

* In the eyes of some, a government that cannot protect its people forfeits the right to rule. In [parts] of Iraq and Afghanistan… militias established themselves as extragovernmental arbiters of the populace’s physical security - in some cases, after first undermining that security…

* In the al-Qa’ida narrative… Osama bin Laden depicts himself as a man purified in the mountains of Afghanistan who is inspiring followers and punishing infidels. In the collective imagination of Bin Laden and his followers, they are agents of Islamic history who will reverse the decline of the umma (Muslim community) and bring about its triumph over Western imperialism.

* As the Host Nation government increases its legitimacy, the populace begins to assist it more actively. Eventually, the people marginalise insurgents to the point that [their] claim to legitimacy is destroyed. However, victory is gained not when this is achieved, but when the victory is permanently maintained by and with the people’s active support…

* Any human rights abuses committed by US forces quickly become known throughout the local populace. Illegitimate actions undermine counterinsurgency efforts… Abuse of detained persons is immoral, illegal and unprofessional.

* If military forces remain in their compounds, they lose touch with the people, appear to be running scared, and cede the initiative to the insurgents. Aggressive saturation patrolling, ambushes, and listening post operations must be conducted, risk shared with the populace and contact maintained.

* FM 3-24 quotes Lawrence of Arabia as saying: “Do not try to do too much with your own hands. Better the Arabs do it tolerably than that you do it perfectly. It is their war, and you are to help them, not to win it for them.”

* FM 3-24 points to Napoleon’s failure to control occupied Spain as the result of not providing a “stable environment” for the population. His struggle, the document says, lasted nearly six years and required four times the force of 80,000 Napoleon originally designated.

* Do not try to crack the hardest nut first. Do not go straight for the main insurgent stronghold. Instead, start from secure areas and work gradually outwards… Go with, not against, the grain of the local populace.

* Be cautious about allowing soldiers and marines to fraternise with local children. Homesick troops want to drop their guard with kids. But insurgents are watching. They notice any friendships between troops and children. They may either harm the children as punishment or use them as agents. ++

How to Get Out of Iraq
Juan Cole writes that Bush’s ineptitude has made a regional war in the Middle East a real possibilitiy. Can diplomacy find a way out?

Juan Cole, The Nation
April 9, 2007 (April 23, 2007 issue)

Both houses of Congress have now backed a timeline for withdrawal of US combat troops from Iraq in 2008, which George W. Bush has vowed to veto. He gives two major rationales for rejecting withdrawal. At times he has warned that Iraq could become an Al Qaeda stronghold, at others that “a contagion of violence could spill out across the country–and in time, the entire region could be drawn into the conflict.” These are bogeymen with which Bush has attempted to frighten the public. Regarding the first, Turkey, Jordan and Iran are not going to put up with an Al Qaeda stronghold on their borders; nor would Shiite and Kurdish Iraqis. Most Sunni Iraqis are relatively secular, and there are only an estimated 1,000 foreign jihadis in Iraq, who would be forced to return home if the Americans left.

Bush’s ineptitude has made a regional proxy war a real possibility, so the question is how to avoid it. One Saudi official admitted that if the United States withdrew and Iraq’s Sunnis seemed in danger, Riyadh would likely intervene. Turkish Foreign Minister Abdullah Gul has threatened to invade if Iraq’s Kurds declare independence. And Iran would surely try to rescue Iraqi Shiites if they seemed on the verge of being massacred.

But Bush is profoundly in error to think that continued US military occupation can forestall further warfare. Sunni Arabs perceive the Americans to have tortured them, destroyed several of their cities and to be keeping them under siege at the behest of the joint Shiite-Kurdish government of Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki. American missteps have steadily driven more and more Sunnis to violence and the support of violence. The Pentagon’s own polling shows that between 2003 and 2006 the percentage of Sunni Arabs who thought attacking US troops was legitimate grew from 14 to more than 70.

The US repression of Sunnis has allowed Shiites and Kurds to avoid compromise. The Sunnis in Parliament have demanded that the excesses of de-Baathification be reversed (thousands of Sunnis have been fired from jobs just because they belonged to the Baath Party). They have been rebuffed. Sunnis rejected the formation of a Shiite super-province in the south. Shiites nevertheless pushed it through Parliament. The Kurdish leadership has also dismissed Sunni objections to their plans to annex the oil-rich province of Kirkuk, which has a significant Arab population.

The key to preventing an intensified civil war is US withdrawal from the equation so as to force the parties to an accommodation. Therefore, the United States should announce its intention to withdraw its military forces from Iraq, which will bring Sunnis to the negotiating table and put pressure on Kurds and Shiites to seek a compromise with them. But a simple US departure would not be enough; the civil war must be negotiated to a settlement, on the model of the conflicts in Northern Ireland and Lebanon.

Talks require a negotiating partner. The first step in Iraq must therefore be holding provincial elections. In the first and only such elections, held in January 2005, the Sunni Arab parties declined to participate. Provincial governments in Sunni-majority provinces are thus uniformly unrepresentative, and sometimes in the hands of fundamentalist Shiites, as in Diyala. A newly elected provincial Sunni Arab political class could stand in for the guerrilla groups in talks, just as Sinn Fein, the political wing of the Irish Republican Army, did in Northern Ireland.

The United States took a step in the right direction by attending the March Baghdad summit of Iraq’s neighbors and speaking directly to Iran and Syria about Iraqi security. Now the United States and Britain should work with the United Nations or the Organization of the Islamic Conference (OIC) to call a six-plus-two meeting on the model of the generally successful December 2001 Bonn conference on Afghanistan. The Iraqi government, including the president and both vice presidents, would meet directly with the foreign ministers of Iran, Turkey, Syria, Jordan, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait to discuss the ways regional actors could help end the war as the United States and Britain prepare to depart. Unlike the Baghdad summit, this conference would have to issue a formal set of plans and commitments. Recent Saudi consultations with Iranian leaders should be extended.

The Saudi government should then be invited to reprise the role it played in brokering an end to the Lebanese civil war at Taif in 1989, at which communal leaders hammered out a new national compact, which involved political power-sharing and demobilization of most militias. At Taif II, the elected provincial governors of Iraq and leaders of the major parliamentary blocs should be brought together. Along with the US and British ambassadors to Baghdad and representatives of the UN and the OIC, observers from Iraq’s six neighbors should also be there.

Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah has credibility with Iraq’s Sunnis, especially now that he has denounced the US occupation as illegitimate. They could trust his representations, which would include Saudi development aid in places like Anbar province. Since the Sunnis are the main drivers of violence in Iraq, it is they who must be mollified, bribed, cajoled and threatened into a settlement. The Shiites will have to demobilize the Mahdi Army and Badr Organization as well, and Iran will have to commit to working with the Maliki government to make that happen. A UN peacekeeping force, perhaps with the OIC (where Malaysia recently proffered troops), would be part of the solution.

On the basis of a settlement at Taif II, the US military should then negotiate with provincial authorities a phased withdrawal from the Sunni Arab provinces. The Sunnis will have to understand that this departure is a double-edged sword, since if they continued their guerrilla war, the United States could not protect them from Kurdish or Shiite reprisals. Any UN or OIC presence would be for peacekeeping and could not be depended on for active peace-enforcing. The rewards from neighbors promised at Taif II should be granted in a phased fashion and made dependent on good-faith follow-through by Iraqi leaders.

From all this the Sunni Arabs would get an end to the US occupation–among their main demands–as well as an end to de-Baathification and political marginalization. They would have an important place in the new order and be guaranteed their fair share of the national wealth. Shiites and Kurds would get an end to a debilitating civil war, even if they have to give up some of their maximal demands. The neighbors would avoid a reprise of the destructive Iran-Iraq War of the 1980s, which killed perhaps a million people and deeply damaged regional economies. And by ending its occupation, the United States would go a long way toward repairing its relations with the Arab and Muslim world and thus eliminate one of Al Qaeda’s chief recruiting tools. A withdrawal is risky, but on the evidence so far, for the US military to remain in Iraq is a sure recipe for disaster. ++

The Theater of the Imperially Absurd
Tom Englehardt, TomDispatch
4/11/07

[Tomdispatch recommendations: International human rights lawyer Scott Horton has long had a remarkably informative private newsletter, “No Comment,” which is now lodged at the Harper’s Magazine website where anyone can read it. It’s an invaluable resource. On the subject of invaluable resources, don’t miss my daily web-stop, Juan Cole’s indispensible Informed Comment. Jonathan Schwarz, who has written for Tomdispatch, recently created a five-minute “Bush intervention” video which amused me greatly. Tom]

Six Crises in Search of an Author
How the Bush Administration Destabilized the “Arc of Instability”

Tom Engelhardt

One night when I was in my teens, I found myself at a production of Pirandello’s Six Characters in Search of an Author. I had never heard of the playwright or the play, nor had I seen a play performed in the round. The actors were dramatically entering and exiting in the aisles when, suddenly, a man stood up in the audience, proclaimed himself a seventh character in search of an author, and demanded the same attention as the other six. At the time, I assumed the unruly “seventh character” was just part of the play, even after he was summarily ejected from the theater.

Now, bear with me a moment here. Back in 2002-2003, officials in the Bush administration and their neocon supporters, retro-think-tank admirers, and allied media pundits, basking in all their Global War on Terror glory, were eager to talk about the region extending from North Africa through the Middle East, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and the former SSRs of Central Asia right up to the Chinese border as an “arc of instability.” That arc coincided with the energy heartlands of the planet and what was needed to “stabilize” it, to keep those energy supplies flowing freely (and in the right directions), was clear enough to them. The “last superpower,” the greatest military force in history, would simply have to put its foot down and so bring to heel the “rogue” powers of the region. The geopolitical nerve would have to be mustered to stamp a massive “footprint” — to use a Pentagon term of the time — in the middle of that vast, valuable region. (Such a print was to be measured by military bases established.) Also needed was the nerve not just to lob a few cruise missiles in the direction of Baghdad, but to offer such an imposing demonstration of American shock-and-awe power that those “rogues” — Iraq, Syria, Iran (Hezbollah, Hamas) — would be cowed into submission, along with uppity U.S. allies like oil-rich Saudi Arabia.

It would, in fact, be necessary — in another of those bluntly descriptive words of the era — to “decapitate” resistant regimes. This would be the first order of business for the planet’s lone “hyperpower,” now that it had been psychologically mobilized by the attacks of September 11, 2001. After all, what other power on Earth was capable of keeping the uncivilized parts of the planet from descending into failed-state, all-against-all warfare and dragging us (and our energy supplies) down with them?

Mind you, on September 11, 2001, as those towers went down, that arc of instability wasn’t exactly a paragon of… well, instability. Yes, on one end was Somalia, a failed state, and on the other, impoverished, rubble-strewn Afghanistan, largely Taliban-ruled (and al-Qaeda encamped); while in-between Saddam Hussein’s Iraq was a severely weakened nation with a suffering populace, but the “arc” was wracked by no great wars, no huge surges of refugees, no striking levels of destruction. Not particularly pleasant autocracies, some of a fundamentalist religious nature, were the rule of the day. Oil flowed (at about $23 a barrel); the Israeli-Palestinian conflict simmered uncomfortably; and, all in all, it wasn’t a pretty picture, nor a particularly democratic one, nor one in which, if you were an inhabitant of most of these lands, you could expect a fair share of justice or a stunningly good life.

Still, the arc of instability, as a name, was then more prediction than reality. And it was a prediction — soon enough to become a self-fulfilling prophesy — on which George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and all those neocons in the Pentagon readily staked careers and reputations. As a crew, already dazzled by American military power and its potential uses, such a bet undoubtedly looked like a sure winner, like betting with the house in a three-card monte scheme. They would just give the arc what it needed — a few intense doses of cruise-missile and B-1 bomber medicine, add in some high-tech military boots-on-the-ground, some night-vision goggled eyes in the desert, some Hellfire-missile-armed Predator drones overhead, and some “regime-change”-style injections of further instability. It was to be, as Andrew Bacevich has written, “an experiment in creative destruction.”

First Afghanistan, then Iraq. Both pushovers. How could the mightiest force on the planet lose to such puny powers? As a start, you would wage a swift air-war/proxy-war/Special-Forces war/dollar-war — CIA agents would arrive in friendly areas of Northern Afghanistan in late 2001 carrying suitcases stuffed with money — in one of the most backward places on the planet. Your campaign would be against an ill-organized, ill-armed, ragtag enemy. You would follow that by thrusting into the soft, military underbelly of the Middle East and taking out the hollow armed forces of Saddam Hussein in a “cakewalk.”

Next, with your bases set up in Afghanistan and Iraq on either side of Iran — and Pakistan, also bordering Iran, in hand — what would it take to run the increasingly unpopular mullahs who governed that land out of Tehran? Meanwhile, Syria, another weakened, wobbly state divided against itself, now hemmed in not only by militarily powerful Israel but American-occupied Iraq on the other would be a pushover. In each of these lands, you would soon enough end up with an American-friendly government, run by some figure like the Pentagon’s favorite Iraqi exile Ahmed Chalabi; and, voilà! (okay, they wouldn’t have used French), you would have a Middle East made safe for Israel and for American domination. You would, in short, have your allies in Europe and Japan as well as your possible future enemies, Russia and China, by the throat in an increasingly energy-starved world.

Certainly, many of the top officials of the Bush administration and their neocons allies, dreaming of just such an orderly, American-dominated “Greater Middle East,” were ready to settle for a little chaos in the process. If a weakened Iraq broke into several parts; or, say, the oil-rich Shiite areas of Saudi Arabia happened to fall off that country, well, too bad. They’d deal.

Little did they know.

The Tin Touch

Here’s the remarkable thing, when you think about it: All the Bush administration had to do was meddle in any country in that arc of instability (and which one didn’t it meddle in?), for actual instability, often chaos, sometimes outright disaster to set in. It’s been quite a record, the very opposite of an imperial golden touch.

And, on any given day, you can see the evidence of this on a case by case basis in your local paper or on the TV news. You can check out the Iraqi, or Somali, or Lebanese, or Iranian, or Pakistani disasters, or impending disasters. But what you never see is all those crises and potential crises discussed in one place — without which the magnitude of the present disaster and the dangers in our future are hard to grasp.

Few in the mainstream world have even tried to put them all together since the Bush administration rolled back the media, essentially demobilizing it in 2001-2002, at which point its journalists and pundits simply stopped connecting the dots. Give the Bush administration credit: Its top officials took in the world as a whole and at an imperial glance. They regularly connected the dots as they saw them. The post-9/11 strike at Afghanistan was never simply a strike at al-Qaeda (or the Taliban who hosted them). It was always a prelude to war against Saddam Hussein’s Iraq. And the invasion of Iraq was never meant to end in Baghdad (as indicated in the neocon pre-war quip, “Everyone wants to go to Baghdad. Real men want to go to Tehran”). Nor was Tehran to be the end of the line.

Under the rubric of the “Global War on Terror,” they were considering literally dozens of countries as potential future targets. Dick Cheney put the matter bluntly back in August 2002 as the public drumbeat for an invasion of Iraq was just revving up:

“The war in Afghanistan is only the beginning of a lengthy campaign, Cheney noted. ‘Were we to stop now, any sense of security we might have would be false and temporary,’ he said. ‘There is a terrorist underworld out there spread among more than 60 countries.’”

Almost immediately after the 9/11 attacks, they began stitching together the arc of instability in their minds with an eye not so much to Arabs, or South Asians, or even Israelis, but to playing their version of what the British imperialists used to call “the Great Game.” They had the full-scale rollback of energy-giant Russia in mind as well as the containment or rollback of potential future imperial power, China, already visibly desperate for Iraqi, Iranian, and other energy supplies. In the year before the invasion of Iraq, they were remarkably blunt about this. They proudly published that seminal document of the Bush era, the National Security Strategy of the United States of America, 2002, which called for the U.S. to “build and maintain” its military power on the planet “beyond challenge.”

Think about that for a moment. A single power on Earth “beyond challenge.” This was a dream of planetary dominion that once would have been left to madmen. But in what looked like a world with only one Great Power, it was easy enough to imagine a Great Game with only one great player, an arms race with only one swift runner.

The Bush administration was essentially calling for a world in which no superpower, or bloc of powers, would ever be allowed to challenge this country’s supremacy. As the President put it in an address at West Point in 2002, “America has, and intends to keep, military strengths beyond challenge, thereby making the destabilizing arms races of other eras pointless, and limiting rivalries to trade and other pursuits of peace.” The National Security Strategy put the same thought this way: “Our forces will be strong enough to dissuade potential adversaries from pursuing a military build-up in hopes of surpassing, or equaling, the power of the United States.” That’s anywhere on the planet. Ever. And the President and his followers promptly began to hike the Pentagon budget to suit their oversized, military fantasies of what an American “footprint” should be.

With this in mind, the arc of instability, which, in energy-flow terms, was quite literally the planet’s heartland, seemed the place to control. And yet — look hard as you will -– you’re unlikely to find a single piece in your daily paper that takes in that arc; that, say, includes Somalia and Pakistan in the same piece, even though Bush administration policy has effectively tied them together in disaster. To take another example, the rise of Iran (and a possible “Shiite crescent”), Iran’s influence or interference in Iraq, Iran’s nuclear program, and Iran’s off-the-wall president have been near obsessions in the U.S. media; and yet, you would be hard-pressed to find a piece even pointing out that the Bush administration’s two invasions and occupations — Iraq and Afghanistan — which left both those countries bristling with vast American bases and sprawling American-controlled prison systems, took place on either side of Iran. Add in the fact that the Bush administration, probably through the CIA, is essentially running terror raids into Iran through Pakistan and you have a remarkably different vision of Iran’s geostrategic situation than even an informed American media consumer would normally see.

After September 11, 2001, but based on the sort of pre-2001 thinking you could find well represented at the neocon website Project for the New American Century, the Bush administration’s top officials wrote their own drama for the arc of instability. They were, of course, the main characters in it, along with the U.S. military, some Afghan and Iraqi exiles who would play their necessary roles in the “liberation” of their countries, and a few evil ogres like Saddam Hussein.

Today, not six years after they raised the curtain on what was to be their grand imperial drama, they find themselves in a dark theater with at least six crises in search of an author, all clamoring for attention – and every possibility that a seventh (not to say a seventeenth) “character” in that rowdy, still gathering, audience may soon rise to insist on a part in the horrific farce that has actually taken place.

Six Crises in Search of an Author

Sweeping across the region from East to West, let’s briefly note the six festering or clamoring crisis spots, any one of which could end up with the play’s major role before George W. Bush slips out of office.

Pakistan: The Pakistani government was America’s main partner, along with the Saudis, in funding, arming, and running the anti-Soviet struggle of the mujahedeen, including Osama bin Laden, in Afghanistan back in the 1980s; and Pakistan’s intelligence agency, the ISI, was the godfather of the Taliban (and remains, it seems, a supporter to this day). In September 2001, the Bush administration gave the country’s coup-installed military ruler, General Pervez Musharraf, the basic you’re-either-with-us-or-against-us choice. He chose the “with” and in the course of these last years, under constant American pressure, has lost almost complete control over Pakistan’s tribal regions along the Afghan border to various tribal groups, the Taliban, al-Qaeda, and other foreign jihadis, who have established bases there. Now, significant parts of the country are experiencing unrest in what looks increasingly like a countdown to chaos in a nuclear-armed nation.

Afghanistan: In the meantime, from those Pakistani base areas, the revived and rearmed Taliban (and their al-Qaeda partners) are preparing to launch a major spring offensive in Afghanistan, using tactics from the Iraq War (suicide bombers or “Mullah Omar’s Missiles,” as they call them, and the roadside bomb or IED). They are already capable of taking over southern Afghan districts for periods of time. The Bush administration used the Northern Alliance — that is, proxy Afghan forces — to take Kabul in November 2001. It then set up its bases and prisons and established President Hamid Karzai as the “mayor of Kabul,” only to abandon the task of providing real security and beginning the genuine reconstruction of the country in order to invade Iraq. The rest of this particular horror story is, by now, reasonably well known. The country beyond booming Kabul remains impoverished and significantly in ruins; the population evidently ever more dissatisfied; the American and NATO air war ever more indiscriminate; and it is again the planet’s largest producer of opium poppies and, as such, supplier of heroin. Over five years after its “liberation” from the Taliban, Afghanistan is a failed state, home to a successful guerrilla war by one of the most primitively fundamentalist movements on the planet, and a thriving narco-kingdom. It is only likely to get worse. For the first time, the possibility that, like the Russians before them, the Americans (and their NATO allies) could actually suffer defeat in that rugged land seems imaginable.

Iran: The country is a rising regional power, with enormous energy resources, and Shiite allies and allied movements of various sorts throughout the region, including in southern Iraq. But it also has an embattled, divided, fundamentalist government capable of rallying its disgruntled populace only with nationalism (call it, playing the American card). Energy-rich as it is, Iran also has a fractured, weakened economy, threatened with sanctions; and its major enemy, the Bush administration, is running a series of terror operations against it, while trying to cause dissension in its oil-rich minority regions. It is also deploying an unprecedented show of naval and air strength in the Persian Gulf. (An aircraft-carrier, the USS Nimitz, with its strike group, is now on its way to join the two carrier task forces already in place there.) In addition, the administration has threatened to launch a massive air assault on Iran’s nuclear and other facilities. Though Iraq runs it a close race, Iran may be the single potentially most explosive hot spot in the arc of instability. In a nanosecond, it would be capable, under U.S. attack, or even some set of miscalculations on all sides, both of suffering grievous harm and of imposing enormous damage not just on American troops in Iraq, or on the oil economy of the region, but on the global economy as well.

Iraq: Do I need to say a word? Iraq is the poster-boy for the Bush administration’s ability to turn whatever it touches into hell on Earth. In Iraq, the vaunted American military has been stopped in its tracks by a minority Sunni insurgency. (In recent weeks, however, the war there is threatening to turn into something larger, as the American military launches attacks on radical Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr’s Mahdi Army militia.) Iraq now is the site of a religio-ethnic civil war of striking brutality, loosing waves of refugees within the country and on neighboring states; neighborhoods are being ethnically cleansed and deaths have reached into the hundreds of thousands. Amid all this, the occupying U.S. military fully controls only Baghdad’s fortified citadel within a city, the Green Zone (and even there dangers are mounting) as well as a series of enormous, multibillion-dollar bases it has built around the country. Iraq is now essentially a failed state and the situation continues to devolve under the pressure of the President’s latest “surge” plan. If that plan were to succeed, the citadel-state of the Green Zone would, at best, be turned into the city-state of Baghdad in a sea of chaos. Like Iran, Iraq has the potential to draw other states in the region into a widening civil-cum-religious-cum-terrorist war.

Israel/Palestine/Lebanon: From an early green light for Prime Minister Ariel Sharon to join the Global War on Terror (against the Palestinians) to a green light for Prime Minister Ehud Olmert to launch and continue a war against Hezbollah in Lebanon last summer, the Bush administration has largely green-lighted Israel these last years. It has also ignored or, in the case of the Lebanon War, purposely held back any possibility of serious peace talks. The provisional results are in. In Lebanon, the heavily populated areas of the Shiite south were strewn with Israeli cluster bombs, making some areas nearly uninhabitable; up to a quarter of the population was, for a time, turned into refugees; parts of Lebanese cities including Beirut were flattened by the Israeli air force; and yet Hezbollah was strengthened, the U.S.-backed Siniora government radically weakened, and the country drawn closer to a possible civil war. In the Palestinian areas, Bush administration democracy-promotion efforts ended with a Hamas electoral victory. Starved of foreign aid and having suffered further Israeli military assaults, the Palestinian population is ever more immiserated; Hamas and Fatah are at each other’s throats; and the U.S.-backed President of the Palestinian National Authority, Mahmoud Abbas, is in a weakened position. In the wake of a disastrous war, Israel, with a government whose head has a 3% approval rate, is hardly the triumphant, dominant power in the Middle East that various Bush administration figures imagined once upon a time. This looks like another deteriorating situation with no end in sight.

Somalia (or Blackhawk Down, Round 2): In 2006, Director Porter Goss’s CIA bet on a group of discredited Somali warlords, threw money and support behind them, and — typically — lost out to an Islamist militia that took most of the country and imposed relative peace on it for the first time in years. The ever proactive Bush administration then turned to the autocratic Ethiopian regime and its military (advised and armed by the U.S. with a helping hand from the North Koreans) to open “a new front” in the Global War on Terror. The Ethiopians promptly launched their own “preventive” invasion of Somalia (with modest U.S. air support), installed a government in the capital, Mogadishu, proclaimed victory over the Islamists, and — giant surprise –promptly found themselves mired in an inter-clan civil war with Iraqi overtones. Today, Somalia, long a failed state and then, for a few months, almost a peaceful land (even if ruled by Islamists fundamentalists), is experiencing the worst fighting and death levels in 15 years. The new government in Mogadishu is shaky; their Ethiopian military supporters bloodied; over 1,000 civilians in the capital are dead or wounded, and tens of thousands of refugees are fleeing Mogadishu and crossing borders in a state of need. Rate it: a developing disaster — with worse to come.

In short, from Somalia to Pakistan, the region is today a genuine arc of instability. It is filled with ever more failed states (Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Palestine, which never even made it to statehood before collapse), possible future failed states (Lebanon, Pakistan), ever shakier autocracies (Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Pakistan); and huge floods of refugees, internal and external (Somalia, Iraq, Lebanon, Afghanistan) as well as massively damaged areas (Afghanistan, Iraq, Gaza, Lebanon). It is also witnessing the growth of extremist and terrorist organizations and sentiments.

A Rube Goldberg Machine

At any moment, somewhere in the now-destabilized “arc of instability,” that seventh character could indeed rise, demand attention, and refuse to be ejected from the premises. There are many possible candidates. Here are just a few:

Al-Qaeda, an organization dispersed but never fully dismantled by the Bush administration, has now, according to Mark Mazzetti of the New York Times, rebuilt itself in the Pakistani borderlands with new training camps, new base areas, and a new generation of leaders in their thirties, all still evidently serving under Osama bin Laden. (In the future, Mazzetti suggests even younger leaders are likely to come from the hardened veterans of campaigns in Bush’s Iraq). Al-Qaeda is a wild card throughout the region.

Iraqi Kurdistan is now a relatively peaceful area, but from the disputed, oil-rich city of Kirkuk to its Turkish and Iranian borders it is also a potential future powder keg and the focus for interventions of all sorts.

Oil pipelines, which, from the Black Sea to the Persian Gulf, crisscross the region, are almost impossible to defend effectively. At any moment, some group or groups, copying the tactics of the Sunni insurgents in Iraq, could decide to begin a sabotage campaign against them (or the other oil facilities in the region).

Saudi Arabia, an increasingly ossified religious autocracy, faces opponents ready to practice terrorism against its oil infrastructure and rising unrest in its oil-rich Shiite areas as well as an ascendant Iran.

Syria, a rickety minority regime, under internal pressure, now faces the launching of a renewed Bush administration campaign to further undermine its power. Though we have no way of knowing the scope of this campaign, it seems the President and his top officials have learned absolutely nothing about what their meddling is likely to accomplish.

Outside the “arc of instability,” but deeply affected by what goes on there, let’s not forget:

The U.S. Army: 13,000 National Guardsmen have just been notified of a coming call-up, long before they were due for another tour of duty in Iraq. The Army, like the Marine Corps, finds itself under near-unbearable pressure from the Iraq and Afghan Wars and, as a result, is sending less than fully trained troops, recruited under ever lower standards, with worn equipment, into battle. The Army, for instance, is having trouble holding on to its best soldiers. Beyond their minimum five years of service, to take an example, “just 62% of West Pointers re-upped, about 25 percentage points lower than at the other service academies.” And the public grumbling of the top brass is on the increase. Who knows what this means for the future?

The American People — Oh yes, them. They haven’t really hit the streets yet, but they’ve hit the opinion polls hard and last November some of them hit the polling booths — decisively. Who knows when they will “stand up” and insist on being counted. Perhaps in 2008.

In other words, in addition to the normal cast of characters dreamt up by the Bush administration in its fantasy production in the global round, a whole set of unexpected characters are already moving up and down the aisles, demanding attention, and at any moment, that seventh character — whether state, ethnic group, terrorist cadre, or some unknown crew in search of an author is likely to make its presence felt.

And let’s not forget that there is one more obvious “character” out there in search of an author; that there is one more Bush-destabilized place on the planet not yet mentioned, even though it may be the most important of all. I’m talking, of course, about Washington D.C.; I’m talking about the Bush administration itself.

Consider the process by which it turned Washington into a mini-arc of instability: First, it fantasized about the “arc of instability,” then stitched it together into a genuine Rube Goldberg instability machine, one where any group, across thousands of miles, might pull some switch that would set chaos rolling, the flames licking across the oil heartlands of the planet. Then, remarkably enough, the administration itself and all its dreams — both of a Pax Americana globe and a Pax Republicana United States — began to disintegrate. The whole edifice, from Rumsfeld’s high-tech military to Karl Rove’s political machine, became destabilized under its own tin touch. The putative playwright became just another desperate character.

It’s no longer far-fetched to say that, with the President’s polling figures in the low 30s, resistance to his war still growing, a Democratic Congress beginning to feel its strength, the Republican Party shaking and its presidential candidates preparing to head for the hills, corruption and political scandals popping up everywhere, and high military figures implicitly reading the riot act to their political leaders, the already listing Bush imperial ship of state seems to be making directly for the next floating iceberg.

Imagine then, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney still clinging tenaciously to what’s left of their dreams and delusions amid the ruins of their plans — as the USS Nimitz sails toward the Persian Gulf; as American agents of various sorts “advise” and, however indirectly, shuffle aid to extremist groups eager to fell the Iranian regime; as a new campaign against the Syrian regime is launched; as stolen Iraqi oil money is shuttled to the Siniora government in Lebanon (and then, according to Seymour Hersh, to Sunni jihadi groups in Lebanon and the Muslim Brotherhood in Syria); and as American agents continue to “interrogate” suspected jihadis in their latest borrowed secret prisons in Ethiopia, while American-backed Ethiopian troops only find themselves more embroiled in Somalia. Imagine all that, and then ask yourself, what levers on that Rube Goldberg machine they’ve done so much to create are they still capable of pulling? ++

“So keep fightin’ for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don’t you forget to have fun doin’ it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin’ ass and celebratin’ the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.”
~ Molly Ivins, 1944 - 2007

In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, this material is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.

Add comment April 11th, 2007

Stupidity in the Morning

I’ve never been a shock jock fan … in spite of my fondness for breaking all the politically correct rules, in general. For instance, I love South Park which turns every civilized notion on its head so we can see its legs in the air, but I can’t stand to listen to Don Imus [they say he’s done a lot of worthwhile charity work] or Howard Stern [I liked his movie.] I think it’s the destiny of shock jocks to eventually find themselves castigated — being clever for a living means at some point you’ll cross the line to mean, and somebody will set up a howl. Years ago, Don Rickles made an entire career out of being mean — I didn’t like his act either, but he was very deliberate in it BEING an act. Everybody says he’s a sweetheart of a human. Stern and Imus may be nicer than they present, but their “act” has defined who we think them to be. Of the two, of course, Imus is the more overtly political one.

I think this is a “tempest in a teapot” issue [not that it isn’t revealing and contemptible;] how is “nappy-headed ho’s” different than the toxins that Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh spout on a daily basis? This kind of bunk is the stuff of celebrity roasts and stand-up routines. It IS reflective of some interesting sociology, though — it’s racist, of course, but at its bones, its really sexist.

Everybody seems to want to weigh in on this issue — me, I think Mike Moore summed it up on the cover of his book, Stupid White Men. Just the title — th-th-that’s all, folks. I understand Uncle Dick never misses an Imus in the Morning broadcast.

I don’t intend to follow this story — if any of us are deeply shocked and chagrined to find America racist and sexist and controlled by old $$-grubbing codgers, we just fell off the turnip truck. It’s only interesting to me in the intensity of the fire storm. Some of the more worthwhile reads, below, so you don’t have to find them yourself.

Jude

Nappy-headed Hos of the World Unite!
Barbara Ehrenreich, HuffPo
04.11.2007

My first thought, when the Don Imus scandal broke, was: What gives a guy with a full-frontal comb-over the right to criticize anyone’s hair? Don, Don, don’t you remember I am rubber, you are glue…? I had no idea what he looked like until he insulted the Rutgers women’s basketball team and got all over TV, but now that I know, and now that the discourse has descended to comments about people’s appearance, I see why he’s been confined to radio all these years.

Of course it’s the ho, not the hair, part of Imus’s comment that hurts, with its suggestion of unlimited sexual availability. Dream on, dirty old man, but there’s no amount of money that would win you the favors of these strong, smart, athletic young women. It was the senile lechery of his “nappy-headed ho” remark that creeped me right out. What did he think– that it was Bring Your Dotage to Work day?

But I changed my mind when I saw the whole sequence on the news. Imus didn’t utter those poisonous words in a tone of racist, misogynist, contempt, but with something that sounded like admiration. “That’s some rough girls from Rutgers,” he told producer Bernard McGuirk, “Man, they got tattoos …” It was McGuirk who introduced the ho theme, responding, “‘Some hardcore hos.”

Not to be out-done in the tastelessness department, Imus then muttered appreciatively, ‘That’s some nappy-headed hos there, I’m going to tell you that.” In the same way, an African-American might compliment a male athlete of his own race as “one bad-ass n-word,” or something like that. The Rutgers women were “rough” - which is good in an athlete, right? - inspiring McGuirk and Imus to flex their testosterone

glands and act even tougher, and the only way they could think to do that was by adopting the argot of hip-hop. It was like watching a couple of suburban white boys slouching around in full ghetto get-up: Cute, in a way, but mostly pathetic.

This doesn’t excuse Imus, because he misses a crucial point: That an insult, used often enough, becomes the exclusive property of the insulted. Take the word “bitch,” as applied to any woman with the guts to offend. At first it stung, but then we appropriated it for ourselves. Elizabeth Wurtzel wrote a feminist book called Bitch, and there’s a feminist magazine of the same name. I can call my sister “bitch” in a jokey, tough-gal, way. But you can’t call her that, not if you’re a guy, unless you want to step outside with me.

You can blame hip-hop if you want, and the cable news channels have been quick to point out that the words “ho” and “nappy-headed” abound in that genre. But hip-hop occupies the realm of the carnivalesque, which aims to up-end white middle class sensibilities in the spirit of defiance and play. I cringe at the relentless obscenity of the lyrics, the misdirected disrespect for women. But I also recognize in hip-hop an anger that is not mine to share, at least not in the same words, because it’s a response to centuries of sexualized racial put-downs, often uttered by people who, embarrassingly enough, looked very much like me.

This isn’t only about race, though. Much of the commentary has focused on a multi-millionaire white guy’s unaccountable insult to aspiring young black women. Al Sharpton held up his own college-bound daughter as one of the injured parties; Gwen Ifill offered the painful revelation that Imus once referred to her as “the cleaning lady.” But at least two of the Rutgers players are white. What is the message here? That if you hang with the sistuhs your virtue will decline and your hair go bad?

No, what aroused Imus’s twisted admiration and antagonism (and possibly other things) was the reality of strong, determined, aggressive, women. I have straight blondish hair and have never sold any sexual services, but if the Rutgers women are “nappy-headed hos,” then I’d be proud to be one too.

Don Imus and the Rage of the Viagrans
Nina Burleigh, HuffPo
4/10/07

Oh har-dee-har-har. Don’t you have a sense of humor, you bitches and ho’s, nappy-headed or otherwise? What’s wrong with “you people?” You one of those furry-legged fanatics, a bull dyke or what?

Against his will and apologies notwithstanding, Don Imus will be taking his long gray locks, styled and dyed Farrah Fawcett style, and his circa 1970 mind-set, out of circulation for the next two weeks.

This gives us a moment of relative silence to ponder what he - and his ilk of professionally insulting, preeningly non-” P.C.,” overpaid media bloviators - bring to the world.

The I-Man’s brand of humor falls just to the left of Rush Limbaugh’s and is just a hair less “shockingly” misogynistic than Howard Stern’s. He is, in fact, the chattering male’s Howard Stern. He doesn’t bring strippers onto his show, he brings white male pundits up from Washington, D.C., to serve a similar entertainment purpose.

The appeal is the same with all three, though the styles vary. They all serve up a slightly different brand of red-meat bait, more or less coded, flung out over the radio in endless obscene waves, against which the culture is defenseless, but satisfying a similar need in the American male, genus fragile, privileged and white.

They are the Viagrans. They rise, fall, rise again. And now, another one falls. Albeit temporarily.

Slate has compiled a short list of choice I-man-isms, and everyone unfamiliar with Imus’ scathingly open racism and sexism would do well to scan it [posted below.]

Reading them, it’s hard to understand why the I-Man hasn’t been suspended before, but something about the fighting female Rutgers basketball team was deemed unfunny as a butt this time (as opposed to Hillary Clinton’s Satanism, say, or black basketball players and their amazing penile size). Probably he’d have gotten away with it if he’d just called the team whores and left their race alone.

Speeding to his wounded side are the Viagran Centurions, the mainstream media pundits who appreciate the I-Man’s humor, and shill regularly for it on his show. His “posse,” white male pundits Oliphant, Fineman, Thomas, and Co., are all too decently “liberal” to appear on Fox news, but they still “get the joke” when blacks, ethnics and women are the butt of it. Oliphant opened his appearance on Imus earlier this week by saying “I’m with you pal.”

Here’s Jeff Greenfield yesterday, giving the I-Man his umpteenth chance to publicly apologize on a major national network. He reminded Imus that he is “an equal opportunity offender and it’s a comedy show. … you do make fun of everybody, and you make fun of everybody in a way that sometimes is like, you know, school yard teasing, doing the dozens, whatever you call it.”

The I-Man represents something to the Viagran Centurions and his apparently legion fans, and it’s not, as they would surely argue, about Free Speech.

Imus - and Stern and Limbaugh, to different sets of the similarly afflicted - offer an acceptable public vent for that gnawing anger at power seeping away, being stolen by the less inherently entitled - “professional victims” - who say they’ve been wronged. These school-yard bullies make the nerdy guys behind them feel tough and protected at the same time. And the Viagrans, with their extreme, can’t-you-take-a-joke “humor” bolster the illusion that the safe old clubhouse is still intact.

There are of course, certain very funny jokes you won’t hear the I-Man and his friends cracking. They are the jokes that their wives and girlfriends share with each other, but quietly, in order to hang onto their icky diamond rings and the rights to the sweet little retirement ranch.

They have to do with what those little blue pills can’t cure forever.

The Wit and Wisdom of Don Imus
A guide for Washington’s power crowd

Timothy Noah, Slate
Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Don Imus’ long-standing acceptance by the political establishment is a contemporary illustration of 1940s socialite Perle Mesta’s famous advice about how to draw Washington’s power set to a soiree: “Hang a lamb chop in the window.” Politicians like John McCain and Barack Obama, and famous TV journalists like Tim Russert and Cokie Roberts, are no more standoffish than their predecessors; the only difference is that the lamb chop has been replaced by a microphone. For some years now, the broadcast industry has conducted, via talk radio and reality TV, a series of experiments to gauge precisely how much personal humiliation the species Homo sapiens will consent to endure. The most surprising finding is that even people with constant access to the media will make themselves available to interviewer-comedians like Sacha “Ali G.” Baron Cohen or Stephen Colbert*—performers whose sole aim is to get laughs at these celebrities’ expense. If there’s an outer boundary to what a famous journalist or politician will put up with, science has yet to find it.

In the direct-humiliation department, Imus falls well short of Colbert or Ali G. Imus in the Morning is a variation on the experiment, wherein the belittling is indirect. Here, the research question is how long respectable journalists and politicians will associate themselves with a radio host who spews continual invective based on race, ethnicity, and religion. Without exception, every political and journalistic celebrity who appears on Imus’ show is diminished. Yet they keep coming back. Is it because they don’t know what Imus says when they aren’t around? That’s what they tend to claim. “I don’t listen to the show,” McCain told journalist Philip Nobile in June 2000. In an April 9 appearance, Tom Oliphant told Imus, “Solidarity forever,” but later covered his ass by saying, “I don’t know beans about hip-hop culture or trash-talking or, what do you call those things where you run on forever? Riffs.” One person who can’t claim ignorance about Imus is Evan Thomas, who on April 9 told the New York Times’ David Carr that it would be “posturing” for him to refuse to go on Imus’ show after Imus got dinged for calling the Rutgers women’s basketball team “nappy-headed hos.” Thomas puffed Imus in a 1999 Newsweek cover profile (”The Ringmaster”). “With his quick takes and sense of the absurd,” he wrote, “Imus is the perfect voice for an age that prizes irony over solemnity.” The Newsweek piece made only glancing reference to Imus’ penchant for uttering racial and ethnic slurs on the air, overlooking, for instance, the shock jock’s admission the previous year on CBS News’ 60 Minutes that he’d once told a colleague he hired producer Bernard McGuirk to tell “nigger” jokes. (”That was an off-the-record conversation,” Imus protested to Mike Wallace.)

In the unlikely event that McCain, Oliphant, and others don’t know who they’re dealing with, let’s review some of Imus’ remarks (if you prefer, riffs) from the past. This stuff isn’t hard to find. Many thanks to the Web sites Media Matters for America, Fairness & Accuracy in Reporting, and TomPaine.com (where Nobile tracked Imus’ show) for the quotes that appear below.

    On blacks:

    “William Cohen, the Mandingo deal.” (Former Defense Secretary Cohen’s wife is African-American.)

    “Wasn’t in a woodpile, was he?” (Responding to news that former black militant H. Rap Brown, subsequently known as Abdullah Al-Amin, was found hiding in a shed in Alabama after exchanging gunfire with police. Imus is here alluding to the expression “nigger in the woodpile.”)

    “Knuckle-dragging moron.” (Description of basketball player Patrick Ewing.)

    “We all have 12-inch penises.” (After being asked what he has in common with Nat Turner, Malcolm X, Minister Louis Farrakhan, Latrell Sprewell from the New York Knicks, and Al Sharpton.)

    “Chest-thumping pimps.” (Description of the New York Knicks.)

    “A cleaning lady.” (Reference to journalist Gwen Ifill, possibly out of pique that she wouldn’t appear on his show. “I certainly don’t know any black journalists who will,” she wrote in the April 10 New York Times. The Chicago Tribune’s Clarence Page used to appear, but after he made Imus pledge not to make offensive comments in the future, he was never asked back.)

    On Jews:

    “I remember when I first had [the Blind Boys of Alabama] on a few years ago, how the Jewish management at whatever, whoever we work for, CBS, or whatever it is, were bitching at me about it. […] I tried to put it in terms that these money-grubbing bastards could understand.”

    “Boner-nosed … beanie-wearing Jewboy.” (Description of Howard Kurtz of the Washington Post, a frequent guest.)

    On women:

    “That buck-tooth witch Satan, Hillary Clinton.” […] “I never admitted it when I went down there and got in all that big jam, insulting Bill Clinton and his fat ugly wife, Satan. Did I? Did I ever say I was sorry for that?”

    On Native Americans:

    “The guy from F-Troop, Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell.” (This is a reference to the zany Indian characters on the 1960s TV sitcom F-Troop. They had names like “Roaring Chicken,” “Crazy Cat,” and “Chief Wild Eagle.”)

    On Japanese:

    “Old Kabuki’s in a coma and the market’s going up. […] How old is the boy? The battery’s running down on that boy.” (Reference to Japanese Prime Minister Keizo Obuchi, who died the following week.)

    On gays:

    “I didn’t know that Allan Bloom was coming in from the back end.” (The homosexuality of the author of The Closing of the American Mind became widely known when Saul Bellow published Ravelstein, a novel whose protagonist was based on Bloom, who by then was deceased.)

    “The enormously attractive [NBC political correspondent] Chip Reid, I can say without being accused of being some limp-wristed ‘mo.”

    On the handicapped:

    “Janet Reno’s having a press conference. Ms. Reno, of course, has Parkinson’s disease, has a noticeable tremor. […] I don’t know how she gets that lipstick on (laughter) looking like a rodeo clown.”

Every one of these statements came directly out of Imus’ mouth on his program. That’s striking because Imus usually leaves it to other show regulars (especially McGuirk, the aforementioned point man on “nigger” jokes) to say the most offensive stuff, with Imus feeding them straight lines. It’s safer that way.

Imus in the Toilet
Margie Burns, SmirkingChimp
Apr 11 2007

Halfway following the most recent Imus gaffe – not that it’s much of a surprise, or particularly illuminating, regarding what the major media outlets will tolerate, that is, pay handsomely for years, as long as the bigmouths pull in advertisers – I have to admit that one point does strike me new.

No one – no one, even among all the better-thinking persons criticizing Imus’ unfathomable remark about ‘nappy-headed Hos’ – points out that, racial injustice aside, these girls are YOUNG, and Imus is SIXTY-SIX YEARS OLD.

At the risk of coining a phrase, what is our country coming to?

I have taught people these girls’ age for 25 years. I understand irritation, none better, but for the life of me I cannot understand how a man Imus’ age could bring himself to speak of very young women the way he did. This is not to shunt the race issue aside; far from it. But setting aside, if one could, the bigotry in Imus’ and McGuirk’s comments, what – oh, what – explains their unnatural breaching of the generation barrier?

Don’t tell me you don’t know what I mean. We have, all of us – and I mean, all of us – seen some crusty curmudgeon, to put it nicely, start to make an unseemly comment on the behavior of some teenager, some adolescent, of the opposite sex, and then stop, swallow it – irascibility, profanity, and general arrogance notwithstanding — because of simply the gut barrier against attacking an individual not only of the opposite sex but also of a totally different generation.

That said, for the purpose of clarity it is essential to note that these girls were not teenagers acting out. We have all had moments of irritation, and people of a different generation — either direction — can be irritating. We all know it. But these young women simply were not doing something wrong. They were not being somehow obstreperous, like teenagers motormouthing on public transportation. They were not vandalizing, or even just pushing and shoving each other while giggling and badmouthing in a movie line. They were not young people displaying some irritating behavior, at all. They were a BASKETBALL TEAM of young women – this is Square One — doing what a BASKETBALL TEAM is supposed to do, at its best, ability and circumstances permitting: they played for a championship. Which is the moment at which Imus and McGuirk – striking while the iron was cold – succumbed to a momentary impulse (presumably) to say something reductive, negative, and – perhaps envious? – instead of doing and saying the appropriate, which would actually have been easier and more pleasant all around, one would think.

What degree of quintessential cowardice could induce their management to accept and tolerate this nonsense? Do any of the executives in these outlets have daughters? What blocked off and stopped up the normal degree of pity or mercy any decent person feels, toward someone with decades less of education and life experience – setting aside the fact that these young women hadn’t done something wrong, needing extra tolerance or latitude, in the first place?

If I were CBS, MSNBC, or any other of the dickless entities nominally supervising these delirious asses – and, unlike Imus, I mean what I say, and what I’m saying has 1) validity, and 2) history on its side – I would be checking to see whether either or both of these guys had been betting on the basketball games.

If those remarks weren’t sour grapes, then I don’t know Aesop.

But then of course I’m a literate media consumer, as these terms are used nowadays, and personally I’m sick of the most abject non-warriors the wealth of a resource-rich, highly organized and powerful society has ever produced parading a deranged and egocentric bellicosity as though to do so were somehow protecting the American public. (Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Arnold